Interview with Paul McCaghren 12 September, 2008 Charles Carson

    Paul McCaghren is a private investigator and private security consultant in Dallas, Texas. Previously, Paul was a member of the Dallas Police force from 1953 until 1974. Paul worked on the shooting case of Oswald who was killed by Jack Ruby during Oswald's infamous prison transfer, and on the death of J.D. Tippett, Oswald's arresting officer after the assasination of J.F. Kennedy in Dallas in 1963.

Charles: What is your present occupation, Paul?

Paul: I am a private investigator and private security consultant in Dallas, Texas.

C: Previously, you were a member of the Dallas Police Force, were you not?

P: Yes, I was.

C: During what period of time?

P: From 1953 until 1974.

C: And during that period of time what was your rank?

P: I worked from patrolman to detective in 1958. I was a lieutenant from 1960 to 1965 or 1966. I was a captain from 1966 to 1968. I was the director of intelligence division in 1969. I was an assistant chief from 1970 to 1972. In 1972, I began to work my way back down. I was a captain when I retired in 1974.

C: You were working during some pretty turbulent times back then?

P: Yes I was. I was one of five people placed to investigate the shooting in City Hall. I helped conduct that investigation.

C: This was, of course, the shooting of Oswald by Jack Ruby?

P: Yes. And I was on a team of investigators concerning the president’s assassination. You’ve heard about the fourth shot? They spent 25 million dollars to find out there wasn’t a fourth shot.

C: What level of education do you hold?

P: Well, actually, I didn’t finish high school. I got my G.E.D. The police department was gracious enough to send me to school in my off time and then on to police academy.

C: What did you find most rewarding about your career?

P: Oh, I enjoyed the accomplishments. It was very rewarding work. You put a lot of bad people in jail and you help out a lot of good people.
C: Yes, we’ve been studying about how the police force now is more about service in the community.

P: Well see, that’s a problem, now. My grandson just graduated the force and he’ll come to me and say, ”Grand dad, all we do is go around answering dog barking calls, code violations, things of that nature”.

C: What were your least favorite duties?

P: When I was assistant chief ward of internal affairs. And I did not like internal affairs. It was kind of hard for me to give a guy three days off for smashing someone in the mouth, when I’d done the same thing myself.

C: (Laughs) Understood.

C: If you don’t mind answering this question. It’s kind of on a personal level. What are your thoughts on capital punishment?

P: It doesn’t work.

C: Why not?

P: Because of delays. If you want to make it work, you have to have a speedy trial, a fair trial and carry out the punishment while it’s still fresh on people’s minds.

C: I read that the average stay right now is 10.2 years on death row.

P: Yes, sounds right. If you want to hurt somebody, send them in for the rest of their life.

C: Without the chance of parole?

P: Well, there’s a little kicker there. You have to be paroled after forty something years. People argue, ‘well, we can execute them and save the taxpayers money’. But what we do is put money in these court appointed attorneys. These fucking Mexicans come up here and kill each other and we give them court appointed attorneys, put them in jail and they stay there several years. And their attorney is running the clock all the time. Tens of thousands of dollars are being billed. Collectively it runs into the millions. It costs 43 thousand dollars a year to keep an inmate in the penitentiary. It’s not a deterrent at all, never has been and never will be. I was always for capital punishment, but seeing how it works nowadays, I think it’s a joke. It’s a travesty of justice.

C; What advice would you give to someone interested in pursuing a career in criminal justice?

P: I’d go for it. I’d go for it and in a cache I would learn to speak Spanish.

C: I’ve actually got that on my list of things to do. (Laughs) I know all the hiring now requires you to speak Spanish, especially in this area of the country.

P: Yeah, my grandson was required to be able to speak high school level Spanish before he could graduate in his police academy.

Do you recall any ethical dilemmas associated with your job?

P: Yeah, there were a few.

C: Can you name maybe a couple?

P: Well, I’m in front of a bad guy who had committed some horrible offense, I didn’t mind beating the shit out of him to get a confession out of him. That’s not ethical. You’re not supposed to do that. Well, you know, I really didn’t beat the shit out of him, just slapped him around some.

C: Just turning up the heat a little?

P: Yeah, instead of using the word beating, let’s just say putting a little pressure on him. (Smiles)

C: Yeah, well you know we give officers lots of leeway to get a confession.

P: Not anymore! You can’t do it like that anymore. That was back in the fifties. I’ve caught many bad guys. This one was with this girl, he had raped this young girl, this child, and I did what I had to do, but you can’t do it that way anymore.

C: Due process, right? Lots of civil libertarians are out there now.

P: Well, we know that now and know not to do it that way. It was just a different era back then.

C: You can still, though manipulate a suspect, you can lie to him to try to get a confession.

P:  Well, people confess a crime for two reasons. One is because they fear you, and two, because they respect you. I know how to gain respect. I can put you down. As big as you are and as tough as you are, I can put you down. But these days, these young officers don’t know how to do it. They confuse criminal interrogation with witness questioning. The people that are teaching this are teaching witness interviewing. It’s a whole different ballgame, because one, interviewing is where you make a person comfortable. Interrogation is where you get their attention to make sure they know you are in control.
If you ever do an interrogation and you bring that person in to interrogate, you be in control. Do not have anything on your desk like a cup or sunglasses or anything there that makes you look like a human being. Okay? Don’t have any distractions.
Now here’s a danger in interrogating someone. You take a person with a low I.Q. You can manipulate him into confessing something because he thinks he’s pleasing you. For example, I’ve seen old detectives take a person with a very low I.Q. and they’ll use this old ploy, they’ll say, “Man, I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of all this questioning. I wanna just go home and take a hot bath and put this all behind me”. On and on and on. Well, the guy confesses, but he didn’t do it. Just feels sorry for the guy. Nowadays, you can’t do those sorts of things. In fact, they stopped all that when I was still on the force. So you don’t want to entrap a guy into making a false confession.

C: Thank you. Another question on a personal level. Was being married and raising a family affected by the kind of work you did? Or were you able to separate the two?

P: No, not really, nobody can. I know both my daughters would tell you I didn’t spend enough time with them. I was so wrapped up in police work and in going to school that I robbed them of that time. You can really get wrapped up in getting hot on a case. Hell, when I was an assistant chief, I formed a group consisting of personnel in nineteen states investigating a group that called themselves the Dixie Mafia. So I was really involved in that and going to school on the weekends, and I found myself drinking more, staying out more, and just not doing my family a service at all.

C: Had you ever pursued or thought about doing anything other than police work?

P: No, but after twenty years, you really need to get out of it.

C: Because?

P: Because there’s a danger in staying in too long. The dangerous part is about the people you are associated with, those hookers, those hijackers, and your fellow officers, which just reinforce your thoughts about that. We didn’t have enough sense in those days to back up and look at things objectively and realize how cynical and hardened you can become.

C: What do you think was the main reason you entered the field of police work?

P: Well, I was in the Marines and most of what you did is policing or guard work. And I had a football coach who was a patrolman, and he used to tell us stories of what went on while on duty.

C: Is the criminal justice as you see it today fair?

P: No, it’s not fair, because the higher up in society you are, the less chance you have of being punished.

C: Last question, Paul. What book or books have you read in the last year?

P: On what?
C: On anything. Are you a big reader?

P: Oh, yeah. Right now I am reading a book by Bernard Cornwell called Sharpe’s Company. Bernard Cornwell is one of the best writers on old warfare from the 1800’s on the English war. When Napoleon attacked Portugal and Spain. I like that. I’m also reading one right now on the history during 430 B.C. of soldiers in Afghanistan. Those people over there were ruthless. Shit, Man, they don’t give up on anything. No mercy. And they would just as well kill their whole family as kill you. Historical novels, I love them.

C: Thanks. That question I threw in just to give me a little psychological insight into where your interests lie. Thank you for taking the time to answer my questions. It was very generous of you.

P: You’re quite welcomed. I enjoyed it.

End of interview

This Hours' Honor

The bell tolls once for each new victim
Ironically, planes fly overhead; symbolically
A tattered flag gets carried away while
A dirge is being played for the dead.

Erected will be a memorial, the names of each
Set neatly, officially in granite laid
Yet another in a series stacked and black like dominos, though        
These 3,000 latest were not taken by bullet, or by blade.

Still, we shall honor them as victims of war, for
Is it not terror’s hand, that which makes death lists of all the others?
The thing most frightening is this dread of continuance
Making ghosts of children and fools of mothers.

Who with pointed finger to blame we ask?
Our neighbors of course, those whom we ignore.
As poisoned water will seek its own level
Mixed in with warning waves that break along the shore.

With misunderstanding we choose not to learn
Of reasons why we have the need to kill
The enemy that remains; the hunter, who longs
For the chase long after the kill; the ultimate thrill.

Our freedoms are bought at such high price
Which most of us no longer can afford; luxuries…
Put them on loan, we will pay tomorrow, for
We must have them now before we grow bored.

This hours' honor is brought to you by
One more commercial interruption; which
Fuels this country and flavors its taste,
As we swallow so easily spoonfuls of corruption.

I stand before this cold new monument
And listen to whispers of each name called.
I freeze in horror when I see the last entry,
“Dedicated to all who are served” by Ronald McDonald.

MY UNDERSTANDING OF AN ULTIMATE BEING

    As I look around at what I perceive as objects either animate or inanimate – other humans, animals, trees, plants, rocks, or oceans, even my own reflection – I am seeing or perceiving God. The word God, or god is a term conceptualized as a way to define or categorize a being, thought, belief, or idea. God is energy existing in all that is natural, perfect in its state of being. A Buddhist belief is that all is perfection. Even when a tree breaks and falls and its elements slowly rot, it is perfect as it returns to its preexistent state, at one with the earth.
    Our existence is not bound by time, but by memory. Just as we try to capture or realize a moment, it is gone. And just like that moment, after we are gone we continue to exist in the memory of others.  From the moment we are born we begin the return to our being of nothingness, perfection in and of existence. The Ultimate Being is within and without us.
    As Cobb (1977) describes in his paper “Buddhist Emptiness and the Christian God”, our subjectivism leads us to think of an Ultimate Being in terms of dualism, wholly separate from God, unseen from our sensate reality. Therein lies the search, ever striving for knowledge and validation. It is within this outward search that frustrations are realized, while all that is perceived sometimes lends itself to doubt. It is in this constant desiring to want to know, instead of the knowing itself that keeps us ever separated. It is like trying to grasp and hold on to a fleeting moment.

VISIT TO ST. THOMAS AQUINAS CATHOLIC CHURCH MASS OF BLESSED VIRGIN MARY

    There is something truly gratifying in being enveloped in an aesthetic setting such as an old beautiful church. There are just not many places one can go and sit and feel comforted without the usual crowds, noise, and scenery. I gained a sense of the olde world, and totally forgot that right outside the front doors was a hot busy street in the middle of a huge bustling city in Texas. It was like an immersion in cool soothing waters.
    Saint Thomas Aquinas Parish has existed for over fifty years. I was there for two hours attending a four o’clock Saturday vigil, lasting only one hour. For most of the second hour, I sat and meditated undisturbed by the few who remained to collect offerings, extinguish candles, and remove the items for the Sacrament. I moved closer to the altar, more comfortable in doing so than when I had first entered.
    The church is a beautiful high arched, softly lit structure and endows a quiet, reflective quality. Arriving as I did at around three thirty in the afternoon, I noticed several of the parishioners had already gathered. There were many who were awaiting confessional, others kneeling upon the prayer bench in their pews, and others like myself sitting quietly. No music played, and conversation was minimum and hushed. Most were elderly who had arrived early, but as the hour grew closer to four, I noticed younger couples and families with children. Most of these sat in the back, lest they needed to remove crying infants. Dress was casual, comfortable. I suppose more so than Sunday Mass may be.
    The ambiance was very warm and inviting, and the palettes soft with natural cast stone surfaces. Large Gothic styled lanterns hung from the support pillars that are built in between walls holding beautiful stained glass windows, also arched at their tops. I strained to see from where I sat what the inscriptions were under each but couldn’t quite read them. Later, as I looked at still more of the same style windows did I realize they were dedicated in Memorandum, and requests for prayer from different families.
    Soon the strains of a hidden pipe organ began to play just before four when service was to begin. A young girl in white robes appeared at the altar and began lighting candles, adding to the many separate flames of glass held banks of candles already glowing on several tables that ran the length of the church. These were placed under life -  sized statues of Angels and Saints. The playing light seemed to animate the faces and enliven their eyes.
    The opening hymn sung was Holy, Holy, Holy, Lord God Almighty, penned by Reginald Heber, 1783 – 1826. Although about three quarters full, voices seemed to get lost in the vast amounts of space reaching far above us. After being seated a Priest began to tell a personal story relative to the theme of building together a nation for Glory to God.  On a personal level the story was of his parents families coming to America from Sicily and settling in New York State. His Father was a florist, and started a fund raising committee, which sought donations that were then given over to those in the community who were in need. The point of the story was that nation building begins within each of us, and to those in our own small surroundings, the giving of our selves and building from this point.
    We sang a second hymn called Come Now Almighty King, anonymously written in 1757. Interspersed prayers and invocations were read and responsorial psalms were sung. Feeling a bit lost, being unfamiliar to these new rituals; I simply bowed my head and listened to the single voices around me. One woman in particular who sat directly behind me would stumble with the first few words, but about the middle of each sentence was more vocal than most. I felt she was learning, or maybe it had been awhile since she had attended. I felt comforted either way.
    An offering was passed, and though I usually give at other Church services I attend, I saw only two twenty-dollar bills in my wallet, so didn’t participate. A basket at the end of a long handle floated in front of me for what seemed like an unusually long time, held by an elderly deacon who had a look of genuine disappointment on his face at my ungenerous pose. I told myself I would make it up the next time I attend, which I do plan on doing.
    This faith, although far from understanding it is what I have romanticized a service should be if seeking a relaxed, personal sense of God. It abounds in the architecture and aesthetics, the sensual complexities held within the moments of worship, and in the unity of its message and purpose.
    At one point everyone greeted those sitting in proximity with kisses and the phrase, ‘Peace be with you.’ A simple utterance, which holds the total strength of Mankind in his basic needs. A final closing hymn was O God Almighty Father, again anonymously written in 1959. And then within an hour, it was over. But I remained.
    I moved closer to the altar to reflect and to enjoy the warmth and glow. My senses were gently played upon with the smells of flower arrangements and candles, the soft colors and dim lighting. The acoustics are wonderful and each word spoken resonates, letting the ear and mind receive them clearly and slowly take them in.
    The stained glass panels each reflected a story, from the garden and flood, to the crucifixion and resurrection. All dedicated from families past, with prayer requests and blessings inscribed. All facets of the structure are beautiful art, symbolic of the beliefs and teachings. One is drawn inside ones own self to reflect outward, to feel peaceful and comforted.
    It is the parishioners who actually do most of the speaking of the words, the singing of the songs, in answer and response. In this I sensed a bond, and unity within. Love is clearly the message, and the phrase ‘Peace be with you’ was offered from several of those I sat with.
    The crucifix at the altar was the visual and displayed high to draw the eye upward. It depicts the suffering Christ with Joseph and Mary flanked on either side, with Mary Magdalene kneeling and weeping at Jesus’ feet. A Sacrament was offered, the symbol of body and blood through the unleavened bread and wine. I was one of very few who remained seated as most everyone else rose to receive the tablet and drink from the golden chalice. All was very formal, very procedural, and yet so very solemn. There was peace.

Jalapeño Cheese Cornbread

    It all started at the tender age of nine, what I like to refer to as the pivotal year in most children’s lives. I was enjoying Sunday lunch with my family, my mom, step-dad, and two younger brothers. This particular day I had asked to try a hot pepper, as I had seen my mother eating them frequently.
    We were about halfway finished with the meal when I forked a few green beans, and not noticing the Serrano pepper that looks very much like a string bean, stuffed it all into my mouth and began to chew. Now the Serrano pepper, although not quite as hot as the much hotter habanero variety, comes with a big kick to the mouth and tongue when eaten whole, seeds and all.
    Nonetheless, I was hooked and have been a pepper belly ever since. I was born in San Antonio, and spent many summers there with my grandmother and grandfather. I remember sitting in the kitchen watching her cook up a big meal of traditional Mexican food. She would sing the old church hymns while she cooked until 5:00 in the evening when Walter Cronkite would come on the TV in the kitchen.
    I turned out to be a pretty good cook myself. I believe every man needs to learn how to cook for himself, and even his family. I have told my brothers and sons the same thing. Most women I know anymore don’t know how to cook well, or just do not like to work in the kitchen. To me, it’s not work, just good cheap therapy. My brothers are also the cooks in their homes.
    The cheese cornbread has become a tradition in my family. My step-dad owned Cowboys season tickets for a number of years, and we all liked to have tailgate parties before the games. Popular food favorites were tamales, hot wings, chips and salsa, and my cornbread, hot, cheesy and very spicy. I usually make two different batches, one milder for the faint of heart.
    Most everyone in the family is known for a food specialty and these items are requested most every time we all get together; Deviled eggs, spinach artichoke dip, or a favorite pie. I really miss my grandmother’s coconut cream pie. That was everyone’s favorite. Nobody can cook like she could. In her honor, I think I’ll request that for Thanksgiving dessert this year.
    So I am including a recipe for some good jalapeno corn bread for the next time you get a tailgate party or a family reunion together, or for anytime you want something quick and easy to make with a meal. Ole’ and enjoy!









                Jalapeño Cheese Cornbread

Measure                Ingredient
3 cup                Stone ground yellow cornmeal
3 cup                Unbleached flour
2.5 T                Baking powder
2 T                Sugar
1.5 t                Salt
5                Eggs
¾ cup                Safflower or corn oil
3.5 cup                Buttermilk
2 cup                Cheddar cheese sharp, shredded
3 T                Green jalapeños, seeded and veined, chopped

In a mixing bowl, combine cornmeal, flour, baking powder, sugar and salt; mix well. Separately beat eggs with oil and buttermilk. Add cheese and peppers to cornmeal mixture, stirring enough only to mix all ingredients well. Spoon into two 8X12” greased baking pans. Bake in a preheated 425 degree oven for 20 to 25 minutes, or until cornbread is brown around the edge and firm to the touch. Cut into squares and serve hot. Serves 18



Quote:

“ Grandparents are significant family resources to enrich the lives of their grandchildren. Perhaps through more intergenerational contact, grandparents can ‘patch and mend’ some of the ‘raveled ends’ and ‘tattered seams’ of the new extended family. They will realize that by their actions they can sprinkle stardust in the eyes of their grandchildren. Above all, elders need to learn there are but two lasting bequests they can give their children and grandchildren; one is roots and the other is wings”
                            Clarice Orr and Sally Van Zandt


   

The Chameleon Personality

   The world in which we live is sensual. It exists in its own realm, perfect and nondependent on Man to interpret it, nor recreate it. Nature is its own creation. But how does Mankind fit in; what role do we play within this cosmic reality, and do we ourselves really exist within the body of this natural reality, or do we exist only in our thoughts and minds? And is this reality the same interpretation for everyone?
   Science and technology has taken us far astray from our evolutionary paths, and has totally diminished whole species of natural beings and undomesticated animals. The natural world struggles like never before. Where once she was able to purge and replenish natural resources, Nature now is falling far behind, stripped, poisoned, overheated, and drained, impotent and defeated.
   For many thousands of years, Man has been provided for, and basic needs met. As it has always been a struggle, still the benefit was always available. A struggle also for the simple acorn that eventually breaks and pushes through the depths of its beginnings to evolve into a mighty oak, with heavy roots anchored into the depths of its own resting place.
   Man has always adapted, as has all species for the day-to-day struggle of survival. There is an innate need to survive, to procreate and carry on the empirical legacy of life. We are born to resist pain and discomfort and disease, and to embrace and replicate those things, which bring comfort and pleasure.
   “Evolution is central to the understanding of life, including human life”, writes Steven Pinker in his book, The Blank Slate. He continues, “Like all living things, we are outcomes of natural selection; we got here because we inherited traits that allowed our ancestors to survive, find mates, and reproduce”.
   That which brings Man pleasure, however doesn’t always lead to a healthy survival just as what brings pain and suffering does not always lead to death and destruction. We have the capability to manipulate the elements and create toxins that can enhance feelings of euphoria or produce mental chaos. Cure deadly diseases or poison and shut down our systems.
   Unlike our ancestors in the Animal Kingdom, human beings are inherently able to make choices and decisions through a free will and with a metacognitive ability, realizing our outcomes, whether they may be rewarding, or consequential. The ability to reason through our thoughts and rationalize our actions is the gap that separates us from the lower forms of animals.
   We then have the unique ability to lie, to knowingly cheat and manipulate our own species for personal gain or to reciprocate for what we consider an injustice done against us. Through the use of military strategies, we initiate wars and attacks on other nations for political and personal gain. We enslave and incarcerate peoples, kill, torture, and abuse both physically and emotionally.
    For instance, a question that is often asked is what motivates an individual to become a murderer. Theories include biological dispositions, sociological influences, and psychological factors. The early home life of a kind of murderer typed as a serial killer is often one in which a stable nurturing atmosphere is absent. Most serial killers tend to come from homes where they are physically or psychologically abused. Studies have shown that adults who were abused as children tend to exhibit violent outbursts.
    It has been theorized that emotional deprivation combined with other environmental factors or damage to the inhibitive centers of the brain can account for the development of psychopathy. Psychopaths are described as being purposeless, irrational, lack conscience, and are thrill – seekers and are literally fearless. The psychopath tends to not consciously feel anger and many killers seem to go into a trance during their predatory and killing phases. The psychopath sees the victim as a symbolic object. They are smooth talkers often well versed in psychology and skilled at manipulating evaluators. Serial killers who are psychopathic often blend into society.
   Many have developed what has come to be referred as having a chameleon -  like personality. This type of person has a distinct ability to adapt and to bring forth a persona, which matches a personality or situation within the very moment, needed to manipulate or control.
   For example, they can be very charming towards the opposite sex, using a deeper softer voice or adjusting their body language in able to get physically closer to that person. They may also take on and reproduce the same inflection of tone to mimic the way a person speaks, slow down or speed up their cadence, while keeping direct eye contact, drawing the other in as if hypnotizing. These are basic sales techniques actually taught to employees to close deals and generate optimum sales levels.
   The chameleon personality is usually developed and practiced as a defense mechanism used to counter pain or undeveloped emotional attachment. This person is highly introverted, although personifying an outgoing, extroverted personality. Politicians use this talent well, as do actors and as mentioned earlier, those who hold sales and public relations positions. And these individuals are everywhere around us in our daily lives. Probably someone you call friend or even family practices this form of relation. Some are so highly developed in their dealings with others, that it becomes natural, their true personality. Think of those labeled as natural born salesman, gifted with a golden tongue, quick on his feet, etc.
   In the workplace, these persons do well in positions where they deal with people. They are naturals for the social committee. Their uncanny ability to understand people and say just what needs to be said to make them happy makes them naturals for counseling.
   There is a personality trait titled the ENFJ – Extraverted Intuitive Feeling Judging, or Extraverted Feeling with Introverted Intuition. Popularly labeled, The Giver. As an ENFJ, the primary mode of living is focused externally, where things are dealt with according to how one feels about them, or how they fit into one’s value system. The secondary mode is internal, where one takes things in primarily through intuition.
   These are people focused individuals who live in the world of people possibilities. More so than any other type, they have excellent people skills. Because ENFJ’s people skills are so extraordinary, they have the ability to make people do exactly what they want them to do. They can get under people’s skins and get the reactions that they are seeking. Their motives are usually unselfish, but those who have developed less than ideally have been known to use their power over people to manipulate them. They are likely to interact with others on their own level, in a chameleon – like manner, rather than as individuals.
   The question that must then be asked is, are we born with this type of personality; is it a natural state of being? Paradoxically, the answer is yes and no. The chameleon personality is reactive. When an infant is discomforted, she quickly learns that a certain action will alleviate the discomfort, as the need is met. Crying is a natural sensory release and is the surest way to excite a response from the caregiver to diminish hunger or insecurity.
   As the child develops, more actions are displayed to attract needed attention. Take, for instance temper tantrums. If responded to quickly, and gratification is received, the child will use this same method over and over again. And, if over time she is ignored or punished for it, will resort to a new and different action to attain the attention needed. Or she will learn to ask and be patient for what she is seeking.
   Experience with many kinds of people in different situations provides the basis for how we interact toward one another. We are most times unaware if someone is manipulating or causing us to act or respond in certain ways, whether it be what we are buying, how we are reacting, speaking, or what our bodies are reflecting in posture and movement. All are signals the chameleon is picking up on and acting upon to gain from, control, or use for or against us.
   So it is in our nature to navigate our social world to our advantage, for the most pleasant, painless trip possible. We enter in imperfect however, carrying the weight of flawed relations inherently of those who have traveled before us. The alcoholic drinks himself into a pseudo sober state and no one is the wiser. The serial killer and psychopath silently moves among us, perhaps making contact, other times preparing for the next victim to fall along his path. The abusive father sits in church on Sunday morning with his family, revered for his faith and steadfastness.
   Ultimately, we make distinct choices in life. The drinker must decide to take his first drink. The killer must formulate the thought of killing before any action is taken. But it is exactly those thoughts and desires that dwell innate within us, genetically hard wired for the experience that is perhaps made permanent in and of our very being.